Money...

By the far since of the word, I am not a rich person. My finances can always be better. I am blessed for the money that I currently have and attempting to keep earning. In my personal and work life, I am not a fan of loaning out anything that I do not plan on getting back from a person. And, I find it funny when a person, who have called them self your friend, do not either return the items or money that they have borrowed from you. So my question is simple: Why would I still want to be friends with a person that have no intentions of returning the items or money that were borrowed from you?

I recalled, about ten years ago, I once casually dated a woman by the name of "Sharon". "Sharon" and I didn't work out, relationship wise; but, we remained associates. "Sharon" once asked my for a loan to make a payment on her vehicle. "Sharon" had a decent job, and up until that point, I had no reason to believe that "Sharon" would not pay back the loan. But, after "Sharon" received the money, days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. "Sharon" stopped didn't return my phone calls; and, I never heard from "Sharon" since then. I would have felt better if "Sharon" was have been mature and honest enough to at least tell flat out that could repay the loan. That was the first time that I learned that I am to never loan money that I do not plan on receiving back due to not all my friends are actually my friends.

I don't think a person really understand that when a friend doesn't pay back their loan or the money they borrowed, they are actually telling me that my financial situation doesn't matter to them. I still have rent, bills, and a truck note that need to be paid if I do not get my money back. In the past, I even had to get an online loan or pawn something to pay my financial obligations due to my so-called friends deciding to not pay back the money that they borrowed from me. How can a so-called friend still talk to you in person or on the phone and acted as if their was no money issues between us? How can they live with them self knowing they owe money, with not intentions of paying it back? These are the worst time of people in the world, I think. And, I am one of the dumbest people in the world to believe that a friend would actually pay back the money they owe me. But, life and my finances must go on. And, I usually end up not having further communications with those that have failed to repay their loans. I also become less empathetic with other friends and their financial situation, due my financial situation and security must always come first. And, I don't owe anyone a reason for not loaning them money. I have learned that, if I didn't loan the a friend the money, they will always find a way to get that money that they needed.

I repeat, I am not a rich person. I have been able to enjoy the little things in life with the money that I have managed to earn and save. But, I have learned that there are those that would take advantage of a friendship in order to get ahead in life. This includes borrowing money from a real good friend with no intention to repay it. What an asshole to such a thing to a person that they considered a friend. But, still, the blame still falls on me if I loaned out the money to a friend knowing there is a chance that I will never see that money again. When I don't get my money back from my friend, it is nothing for me to let the money issue go along with that so-called friend because I can't have people in my life that can't keep their word. And, I can't have friends, that definitely can't keep their word. In this world, my financial situation is going to always be more important than my friends and their financial situations. That is just a fact of life and common sense when it comes to money and friendships.

Personal Life...

I think I finally have a personal life that makes me happy. I have reduced the unnecessary drama from my life; and, I've chosen not to hang around such people, who seem to want to keep dwelling with drama in their life. From time to time, I take time to reflect on my personal life to see how much I've improved it since a year ago. As long as I continue to take care of business, and reduce my unnecessary spending, I will be fine with my personal life. You would think that being single shouldn't have too many problems in their personal lives. And, we don't for the most part. But, a single person can sometime find their self being too relaxed to the point that their place of residency is a like a pig pen.

Thanks to the assistance of a friend, I was able to bring back some since of normalcy with my apartment. I seem more like an adult, again, with doing the minor house chores around my place to keep from making them into bigger chores. The funny thing about my personal life is that is more about using your common sense to get things done. Such as, I'm using paper plates to reduce the need to wash dishes after eating. I'm washing my clothes from the past week instead of waiting two to three weeks to clean them. Overall, things need to be done around the apartment. And, if I just get them done instead of procrastinating with them, my person life will be a lot more enjoyable. I plan on being more serious with my weight starting in the morning to improve my health.

Friendships...

Do you have a lot of people that you regard as being your "friend" in life? If so, do you give each of these friends a certain "clearance level" of trust with your personal life? And, if so, how much of your personal life do you grant your friends to have access with your trust?


I love the people that I come to know as my friends. Anyone that is not considered a friend, is usually regarded as being an associate of yours. There is no friendship without trust. Friends repay loans to their friends as soon as possible. Friends don't backstab their friends. Friends don't sleep with their friend's significant others. Friends don't steal from their friends. And, friends don't lie to their friends over important matters. There are even friends that one would also regard as being like a sibling to them. That's trust on the same level as a best friend or close relative. I would accept play sibling's constructive criticisms and opinions without taking what they may say to me personally because I know what they are telling me is from the heart for my well being.

Overall, I've been blessed with the friends that I have in my life. I attempt to keep friends with positive attitudes around me. And, I can't really understand why anyone would want to have friends around them that possess negativity and/or drama in their lives. Like myself, my friends are not perfect. But, I still trust them just the same. It is harder to be friends with those that I used to share an intimate relationship with them because you have to make sure that you are not sending mixed signals with them while spending time with them. While being friends with ex-intimate partners, you must mentally continue to view and treat them them as a friend, or you must cut off your friendship with that person. You can't call them your friend, then turn around and become intimate with them again. That type of mixed friendship will never end well. But, I digress.

Even a single person in this day and age needs friends. I am no exception. No one should ever attempt to go through life as if they do not need friends. Friends can keep us grounded. Friends can be fun to hang out with a restaurant or movie without any strings attached. Friends can get us through some rough times. And, friends can definitely give us a good laugh when needed because friends know how we tick as a person. I wouldn't be the person that I am today, if it wasn't for my friends being there for some of the toughest times in my life. And, I'm grateful for the friends that allow me to be apart of their life.

Friendships, you can't live with them; and, you can't live without friendship. But, that's just my personal opinion on the subject.

House Chores...

When it comes to house chores, I am very lazy about doing them. The downside of being a person with a lone wolf mentality is that I usually don't see an immediate need to clean up my place, even when it looks like crap. I'm embarrassed to say that I currently live in a crappy looking apartment. But, I do. So, I just finished washing the dishes that have been in the sink unwashed for over a month. Gross, I know. I hate typing it out in this blog. But, I wasn't motivated to wash those dishes, since I am the only one that ever see those damn dishes on a daily basis. So, what got me off my ass to wash the dishes this evening? Well, I think because I am finally getting used to the long distance driving to and from my new job to the point that I can physically get off my lazy ass and began doing a little something each evening to get my apartment into decent shape. It also helps to turn off the television (I love Netflix), or at least change the station to a music station that will get me motivated to get one house chore completed this evening.

As I stated earlier, I am not a fan of house chores, even though I know it is a necessary chore to do. Whenever I was in a dating relationship, dating someone was motivation enough to keep my place clean. But, since I haven't dated in awhile, and the fatigue from the daily drives to and from work in another city caused me to be the lazy bachelor that I am today. The following example is what I am mentally thinking while driving home from work on ever Friday: "I can take care of the house chores over the course of the weekend.". Then, "I will begin cleaning my messy apartment on Saturday morning." Then, "I'll take care of it during Saturday afternoon." Then, "I'll get to it this Saturday evening." Then, "Well, I can get to it on Sunday morning." Then, "I guess I can clean my place before I bowl later this Sunday evening." And, the next thing you know I am going to bed with the apartment being none the cleaner for another whole week. A sorry cycle of laziness and excuses on my part. I know. I know.

Anyhow, I got the dishes done this evening. The next thing that I need to do is finally clean out that cluttered refrigerator, then get rid of all the crap (trash and useless items) that I no longer need in my apartment (especially, in my bedroom area). Meanwhile, I must remember to take "baby steps" with the house chores. That way, I won't have to feel like "all" of the house chores need to be done at one time. And, it will be more of spot cleaning thing to do rather than a major catastrophe while cleaning my apartment this coming weekend. Right?

Epilogue, I bought paper plates to use in order to reduce the need to use real plates dishes in the future. No dishes used, no dishes to wash. Thanks for the great suggestion, mom.

Obsessive friends...

I was once an obsessive friend during my high school days. I foolishly had a crush on a classmate, who I live to want to please and forever be a part of their life. I took my obsessions with the object of my affections to the point that I even became upset with her for not reciprocating the same feelings towards me. With time, I learned that "... You don't always get what you want. But, you get what you need." It's a shame that there are people in this world that don't seem to get this logic. and have taken their obsessions to the point of wanting to seriously injure or kill the object of their affections. The number one thing an obsessive person will say to justify their dangerous actions is "... If I can't have you, no one else will." Once a friend is observed as being obsessive to the object of their affections, there is no turning back from that stigma. The object of that friend's objections, should immediately consider letting go of their friendship with that person.

An obsessive person's motives to be with the object of affections becomes clearly apparent. They will never be friends with the person in your current relationship. They will find way to discredit the person in your current relationship. Eventually, they will attempt to make you second guess being with the person in your current relationship. Obsessive people can't seem to stop talking about the objective of their affections during their conversations with friends and coworkers. Obsessive people find silly reasons to cause them self to be in the same room or area with the object of affections. They also find ways to hear the voice of the object of their affections on the telephone. Even a text correspondence with the object of their affections can sometimes please the appetite of an obsessive person. But, no matter how delusional their scheme may be, an obsessive person is constantly attempting to figure out how they will be in a serious relationship with the object their affections.

I am far from being an expert about obsessive friends. But, I do have the experience of once being an obsessive friend, talking to friends that were being obsessive about the object of their affections, and then being the obsession of a coworker to the point that their actions were carrying over into my personal life where I had to block them from contacting me. Being a single person comes with a price. There will always be others that think they may the one that you have been waiting for since you have been single this whole time. Family, friends, and coworkers may also try to set you up with other single people because they think "everyone should be with someone else in life." So, don't be surprise if you run across an obsessive friend that has also noticed that you can't seem to stay in a long-lasting relationship because you were meant to be actually with them, if only you saw them in a different light.

Do not ever think of your obsessive friend's actions as being harmless or cute. That frame of thought about your obsessive friends could possible be your first and last mistake in underestimating their feelings or intentions towards you. for the well being of your self and those close to you circle of trust, remove those obsessive friends from your life; and, do not ever let them back into it.

I enjoy being single...

I enjoy being single. I enjoy being single because I feel almost claustrophobic with a woman that I am dating as the months go by. I feel claustrophobic with the woman that I am dating as the month go by because I won't let myself be happy with any woman that I am able to date. So, in that fact, I can see how a woman could see me as being stubborn when it comes to not wanting to date anyone serious. As long as I do not date anyone, I won't be able to hurt another woman that I would love to date. So, as stated before, I enjoy being single. I am going to begin my blog series on this note.